How to Hold On (even when it’s hard)

In our Christian culture, self-promotion is frowned upon. Anything that smacks of pride is immediately dismissed as worldly, or worse yet, satanic. So before I go any further, let me clearly say, I’m a fan of humility.

I wholeheartedly agree with the wisdom of Solomon who wrote, “Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth.” (Proverbs 27:2).

I understand the value of humility and fully embrace the words of the apostle Paul, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

I get it. I really do. Humility is good. Pride is bad.

So how can I “shamelessly promote” my book?

First, when you read it you’ll find story after story of my past idiocy. The subtitle is: Chronicles of a Recovering Idiot! It’s hard to get too prideful when you’re basically exposing the raw nakedness of your soul and a track record of learning lessons the hard way.

Second, I believe in grace . . . EPIC grace! Grace beyond our imagination and understanding. Grace that changes everything because it changes us. My hope is that many will read this and think, “Wow! God really is a God of second chances who is full of grace and mercy. If he can redeem, restore and renew Bubna’s life—He can do so for anyone . . . even me.” I am no C.S. Lewis, but I’m convinced this simple book has the potential to impact the lives of many.

Third, long ago (before I even had a book contract), the Lord spoke to my heart and asked if I would “reverse tithe” on any profit from this book. Without hesitation, I said, “Yes.” I do so out of love, and I do so to keep my heart pure in this journey. I never want it to be about money. And giving God 90% of whatever comes my way gives me the freedom to pray that LOTS of books get sold.

So if you planned on buying one, buy two! If you planned on buying two, buy five! And if you planned on buying five, buy a case! Give them away to anybody you know who struggles with a past filled with brokenness and sin (and that would be all of us).

I am truly humbled and grateful for the wonder of God’s grace and the miraculous journey I’ve been on from the beginning of this book. I know it will bless you.

Epic Grace ~ Chronicles of a Recovering Idiot is scheduled for release in September. You can, however, pre-order for a reduced rate at any of the following:

Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Epic-Grace-Chronicles-Recovering-Idiot/dp/1414385048/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1366238620&sr=1-1&keywords=Epic+Grace+by+Kurt+Bubna

Barnes and Noble:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/epic-grace-kurt-w-bubna/1114918369?ean=9781414385044

Christian Book Distributors:

http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=385044&product_redirect=1&Ntt=385044&item_code=&Ntk=keywords&event=ESRCP

Advance Praise for Epic Grace

Kurt’s honest, heartfelt, and sometimes hilarious experiences will encourage you to walk in a grace that is truly epic! I pray that you will open your heart and allow his hard-learned lessons about grace to both challenge and encourage you in your journey. Mark Batterson, New York Times best selling author and pastor

Kurt Bubna’s near-lyrical storytelling focuses on a grace by which we can “live beyond our limitations.” Jack W. Hayford, Chancellor, The King’s University, Los Angeles and Dallas

I was captivated by his life stories and left immersed in the splendor of God’s amazing grace. Wayne Cordeiro, Best selling author and pastor, New Hope Christian Fellowship, Honolulu, HI

Kurt bravely chronicles how epic grace has transformed his life, his marriage, and his relationships, throwing a life jacket of hope to fellow recovering idiots like me. Ronna Snyder,  Author of Hot Flashes from Heaven

A cascade of words rushes to my mind when I think of this book: funny, real, observant, insightful, genuine. . . . It is a story of how God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. Jerry Sittser, Professor of theology, Whitworth University; author of A Grace Disguised and A Grace Revealed

Full of stories, depth, and affection, Bubna leads us to a life of possibilities. Mary DeMuth, Author of The Wall around Your Heart

Starting new churches is one of the best ways to reach new people and introduce them to Jesus. When done right, with the right people, in the right place, and at the right time, God can do amazing things through what is commonly called “church planting.”

In the past thirty years or so of ministry, I’ve had the pleasure of being directly involved as the senior pastor in two church plants and indirectly involved as a team member in three others. I’ve watched it done with God’s favor and wisdom, and I’ve also seen it done poorly too. Through all of these experiences, I’ve learned a lot.

There are many qualifications for success, but here are what I consider to be the top ten non-negotiables for those called to plant a church:

1.     A clear call to church planting which is confirmed by other leaders and pastors who know them and have worked closely with them.

2.      A supportive spouse and a stable, healthy marriage and family.

3.     A strong emotional resilience. (Without it they won’t likely survive.)

4.     An evangelist with a proven gift and ability to reach the lost.

5.     A capable teacher who is an anointed and gifted communicator.

6.     A proven ability to gather and inspire others.

7.     A demonstrated ability to start something new.

8.     A proven ability to recruit, train, and deploy others into ministry.

9.     A demonstrated track record of wisdom in life and in leadership.

10.    A teachable heart proven by the ability to take direction and constructive criticism without defensiveness or arrogance.

The where, when and how of church planting are all critical issues, but the who matters most. I’ve seen many start-up churches come and go over the years, and the ones that survive and thrive have leaders with these qualities and more.

So why does all this matter to you? Because for months now, the senior leadership and pastoral staff at Eastpoint have been praying about planting a church. God willing, we hope to do so in 2014.

We want you to know that we are diligently praying for and actively seeking God’s direction. And of course, that means we are looking for a person with the above-mentioned qualities to invest in for this future adventure.

Pray with us and stay tuned for more about this next step in our journey together as a church. In the months to come we will share more about the when and where. Right now, our biggest prayer is about the who . . . and maybe it’s you!

I’m not a big fan of looking back. I’d rather look forward. Not for a second do I want to be the old guy who’s always talking about the good ol’ days. But sometimes we have to look at what was to fully appreciate what is and what is to come.

To better appreciate my wife, it’s good to look back at our almost four decades together (she deserves a medal for her patience with me).

To truly value my children and grandchildren, it’s helpful to remember all the joy they have brought into my life.

To accurately assess where I’m at spiritually, it’s useful to recall my journey to date.

I know . . . sometimes we look back and it stirs a storm of regrets. Sometimes we remember our past with pain and deep sorrow. Sometimes we get lost in a maze of should haves and could haves.

I know.

But who we are today is the result of all that has happened in our lives so far. Our mistakes, our failures and our hurts have molded us. Our joys and past successes have shaped us. Even the sins against us have played a role in forming us into the people we are right now.

And here’s a greater truth: Nothing is beyond God’s power to redeem. Nothing is beyond His ability to restore. And therefore, nothing is ever wasted by Him.

Any life surrendered to the Father can be renewed and restored. We don’t have to stay stuck in what was in hopeless despair.

Five years ago today, my first grandson, Phineas, was born. Due to a premature birth and undeveloped lungs, he only lived an hour. Though I have lost many friends and family members over the years, no death has been more painful for me. Every detail of the first and last time I held Phineas in that hospital room in Portland is forever etched in my mind. The agony and sorrow in my son and daughter-in-law’s eyes still brings tears to mine.

It is a memory I sometimes wish I could forget. And if that were all there was—pain and sorrow—those emotions would consume me. But the story doesn’t end there.

Somehow, the loss of Phineas has developed in me an even deeper longing for heaven and a hope for what is to come. This world and this life are not all there is.

Somehow, the pain of my past has taught me to run to Abba Father and to snuggle close to Him when I’m hurting.

And somehow, whatever has happened in my life to date reminds me that God is bigger than my circumstances and always with me no matter what.

Grow from your past. Live in the moment. Press on toward your future. However, don’t keep your eyes fixed just on what was, but on what is and can be through the One who is always working for your benefit.

¹⁸ Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.  ²⁸ We know that God works all things together for good for the ones who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:18, 28 (NLT)

Someone once said, “Life’s too short to sweat the small stuff!” If by that they mean it’s better to live our lives in the present, instead of trying to live in the past, I would agree. If by that they mean some things are just not worth getting upset over again, so true. But if they were implying that the “small stuff” is always inconsequential, I would disagree.

If you don’t think small things matter, you’ve probably never tried to sleep in a room with a mosquito.

Certainly, too often we let things matter too much that really shouldn’t matter. Sometimes we do, indeed, make a mountain out of a molehill (to use another worn out cliché). Just as often, however, we tend to ignore some important small things that do deserve our attention, but we blow them off like they’re no big deal.

For example, the fact that I’m a slob who drops his socks on the floor right in front of the dirty clothes hamper rather than inside it might not really matter at first. It’s no big deal. However, about the 100^th time it happens, that little thing becomes a big deal to my wife.

One small ding on my car door from a careless person in the parking lot is just one small blemish. No big deal. But a hundred dings become a noticeable dent.

I had a conversation with a guy recently who told me he didn’t like a negative comment I made about Victoria Secret commercials. He thought I crossed the line in calling it soft porn. His exact words were, “It’s no big deal.” I asked him how his wife felt, and he said, “I don’t know” (translated, “I don’t care”).

I’m not trying to be a religious prude, but a little look here and little peek there can lead to a much bigger problem, it’s called lust. And for the record, there’s nothing little about lust. Jesus, in fact, called it sin.

When it comes to doing kind things for my wife, she always appreciates the big things I do for her, but she deeply values the many little things too.

Little things like . . .

Opening the door for her.

Holding her hand in public.

Calling her from the office at least once a day just to say, “I love you.”

Texting her when I’m on my way home.

Just little things. Yup! But the angel is in the details.

So how do you know what really matters? When are the little things truly no big deal and when are they potentially a very big deal?

Here are some ways to measure what matters:

1.            Ask and listen. When in doubt, ask your spouse or friend, “Does this matter to you?”

2.            Be a good fruit inspector. Take some time to honestly evaluate the fruit (i.e. results) of your actions.

3.            Does it matter to you? If so, it probably matters to others around you. The biblical mandate is to treat others the way you want to be treated.  (Luke 6:31)

4.            Did the stockpiling of what you thought were little things lead to some serious conflict?

5.            Has the ignoring of little things resulted in any desensitizing on your part toward sin or the feelings of others (remember the frog in the kettle)?

By no means am I suggesting that we become worrywarts who constantly fear that some little thing might become a huge problem. But it’s wise to stop from time to time and reflect, “Am I living in a way that demonstrates the kindness and love of God to those around me? Are there some things I’ve ignored that I should pay attention to for the health of my relationships?”

Be wise. Be careful. Don’t let a pesky relational mosquito bite you!

You’ve heard it many times and so have I, “The Lord told me . . .” And that response is supposed to quiet the critics or explain some bold leap of faith.

“The Lord told me I married the wrong person and that I am to divorce my wife and marry so and so.”

“God told me to quit my job and start an Internet business.”

“Jesus is calling me to Bora Bora as a missionary.”

Despite the fact that the Bible is clear about how God feels about divorce, what they “heard from God” trumps everything in their opinion.

Regardless of the reality that the guy starting a new business has zero financial savvy or business experience, because “God told him” we’re suppose to smile and jump on board.

Because “God has called them” we’re expected to get behind the people wanting to go to the mission field and ignore the truth that they have no formal training. We’re supposed to disregard that fact that the only experience they’ve had as a missionary was a short-term trip to Mexico.

Now read this next part carefully, I do believe God still speaks. I know the value of that “still small voice” of the Spirit. Many times, I have personally “heard the Lord” in my heart giving me direction. Biblically and historically, those who’ve heard God call them to something way beyond themselves have done many amazing things.

So let me be clear: I believe in listening to and following the Spirit’s guidance.

But I also know that many crazy things have been done in the name of the Lord. I’ve seen lives, families, and ministries destroyed because something foolish and wrong was executed under the “Thus Saith the Lord” banner.

So are there any guidelines we should follow when people think that they’ve heard from God? Are there some Biblical safeguards that we should exercise when we think the Lord has spoken to us? And what can you say to someone who pulls the God card as if that’s the end of the conversation?

Good questions. Great questions!

Here are some things to consider:

1.            Is it Biblical? What does the Bible have to say about it?

Trust me on this one; God is never going to contradict himself. He doesn’t say “I hate divorce” or “No one should seek a divorce except in adultery” and then tell you, “It’s okay, she’s not really who I had in mind for you, go ahead and marry your secretary.”

God’s never going to tell you to lie, cheat, steal, or abuse. If it’s clear in the Word of God, then that always trumps anything you think you’ve heard.

2.            Is it wise?

God is a God of wisdom. He’s given us his Word that is full of truth and wisdom. An entire book of the Old Testament (Proverbs) is pretty much dedicated to helping us operate in godly wisdom.

Yes, there are times when what God asks you to do will contradict the wisdom of this world, but functioning in his wisdom is always wise. Simply put, God might ask you to do something completely out of the ordinary and apparently crazy at times (like Gideon reducing his army from 30,000 to 300), but it will not be unwise (like starting a business when you’ve got a track record of financial mismanagement).

3.            Is it confirmed by godly elders and pastors in the Body of Christ?

Any one of us can find friends to support our crazy ideas. Some of us are master salesmen who can talk our wives into just about anything (been there, done that!). It’s fairly easy to surround ourselves with people who like us enough to back us up.

In 1 Kings 12, there’s the story of King Rehoboam. He made a huge mistake in “rejecting the advice the elders gave him (as he) consulted the young men who had grown up with him and who were serving him” (1 Kings 12:8). In the end, things didn’t end so well for Rehoboam because he only listened to his friends and pals.

Every major decision I’ve made in my life and ministry that ended well came in the context of wise and godly counsel from my pastors. They are people who know God, know me, and know wisdom. They have worked with me, and they know my strengths and my weakness. And they are unafraid to speak the truth in love to me.

The writer of Hebrews wrote in Hebrews 13:17 (NIV), “Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.” The Bible expects us to submit to godly authority in our lives.

So let me wrap this up by encouraging you to listen to God. Expect him to lead and direct you by his Spirit. Be bold to trust and believe in him. Absolutely!

But never simply pull the “God card” as an excuse to do whatever you think you should do. If it is God, it will line up with Scripture, it will be wise, and those in Biblical authority who know you best will confirm it.

When we were given the opportunity to expand our facility at Eastpoint, it was in the shadow of the great recession. I prayed and in my heart I felt God’s prompting, “Go for it.” But I knew if it was truly God that it would need to be confirmed by the pastors and board members of our church. I knew I needed their wisdom and their support before moving forward.

To a person, the counsel I received from these godly leaders was, “Go for it.” Believe me, if they had said, “No!” I would have submitted to their counsel. Why? Because God protects the humble and the submitted, but he opposes the proud.

By the way, God did a miracle of epic proportions in our last remodel, but that’s another story!

Here’s my prayer for you found in Ephesians 1:17: “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spiritof wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.”

It’s always best when we move in “wisdom and revelation.” Not either-or, but both-and.

When God speaks to you, check the Word, check your heart, check it for wisdom, and check with your pastor before you do anything. This is God’s way, and it will protect you from error and foolishness.

Photo used by permission: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/Casino_and_Gambling_g213-Stack_Of_Playing_Cards_p133630.html

How do you feel when you think about attending a big church? Do you get excited or recoil in disgust? Does the idea of attending a big church make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, or do you get irritated at just the thought?

Recently, my brother passed along a blog posting he found written by a person who hates big churches. He started his post with, “I haven’t been to a church in over a year.” Then he went on to criticize all the things that were wrong with the large church he worked at for ten years.

For the most part, his arguments were pretty skewed, and his heart was obviously full of bitterness.

And it breaks my heart.

I truly wish I could sit down with him face-to-face and have a meaningful conversation about his past and his pain. I know he was wounded. I also know that no church is perfect. Tragically, churches, big and small, have spiritually abused too many dear people.

But here are my questions: Are big churches simply the result of pastors with big egos? Do they do more harm than good? And on the flip side, is the ultimate church a small congregation where everybody knows your name?

I grew up in small churches. I’ve pastored small churches. I’ve been doing this “church-thang” for over fifty years! I’ve also been on staff at two mega-churches and now pastor a church with a couple of thousand folks. None of this makes me an expert, but it does give me a fairly broad background and some experience to speak from.

So here are some small thoughts about big church:

1.         Jesus and the church in the book of Acts did big group and small group.

For Jesus and the apostles, it wasn’t either-or but both-and. Jesus drew very large crowds of thousands, and he invested personally in a small group of twelve. The early Church met in large gatherings, and they also met daily from house to house in small groups. On its first day of existence, the “First Baptist Church” of Jerusalem baptized over three thousand people (see Acts 2:41)!

I tell people all the time, “Our church is never bigger than your small group.” We consistently challenge people to do more than just show up in the crowd on Sunday. We want them to engage in our big group gatherings and our small group encounters.

It’s not that big is better or that small is better—for me—both are needed and both are valid.

2.         Big provides more resources and some amazing opportunities for community impact.

Can a small church make a big impact? Of course! The Bible is full of examples of how God used the weak and the small to do great things. So I want to be clear: big is not required to make a big splash. However, the combined resources of two, three, or ten thousand people provide a measure of financial flexibility and opportunity not afforded the typical small church of seventy. Together we can do more than we can alone. And when there are a lot more of us together, we can do even more.

Next week, our church is going on a local radio station every weekday. We’re excited about the program because 40% of the people who listen to this station don’t go to church anywhere (even though it’s a Christian broadcaster). The staff and finances it takes to pull this off are provided through the broader resources we have as a larger church.

In a couple of weeks, over six hundred high school students will be meeting in our auditorium for a Future Business Leaders of America conference. Many of these kids don’t go to church anywhere, but because we have a facility that can handle a large crowd, we can accommodate a non-church, community event such as this.

Sometimes the toughest challenge is getting people in the front door. However, hundreds of kids who might never walk into a church building will be sitting in ours and possibly thinking, “This is kinda cool.” Call me crazy, but I think that’s awesome!

Big is not always or automatically better, but big can provide some amazing opportunities to serve our communities and to reach the lost.

3.         Big is safe for seekers.

I can name no less than a dozen formerly non-believing guys in our church that never would have attended a small church, but they came to our church because it provided some anonymity. When you’re far from God, the last thing you want to do is show up at a place with fifty people who all know each other and all know you’re the new guy.

Yes, I understand, it doesn’t take a crowd to lead someone to Jesus. But we’ve seen over a thousand people come to Christ in the last ten years and well over seven hundred get baptized in water.

I love to share my faith one-on-one over coffee at Starbucks. But I really love seeing hundreds of people come to faith in a large church that is a safe place for them to discover grace.

4.         Heaven is BIG!

I’m always a little surprised when I hear people say, “Your church is just too big for me. I prefer an intimate and quieter setting for worship.” I usually smile, and wonder—how are they going to feel about eternity in heaven?

Here’s how the Bible describes in Revelation 19:1, 6 (NIV) what we can expect:

I heard what sounded like the roar of a great multitude in heaven shouting: “Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God.” Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: “Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns.”

Sounds to me like rather than a small group in God’s living room, heaven is going to be an incredibly loud party with a few gazillion people. Big can be fun!

So again, let me be extremely clear—big churches can be a big challenge. Inherent in the practice of a large community is the possibility that people can be wounded, missed and forgotten. Big churches include some potentially big problems. I know.

But guess what? Small churches are not exempt from challenges either. I’ve known small churches that were ingrown, petty, ineffective and isolated. Small churches certainly include some potential problems too.

That’s why it really is not about size, but about our hearts.

Do we have the heart of Jesus for the lost?

Do we care about the outsiders as much as we do the insiders?

Are we providing a safe place for people to discover grace no matter what the size of our congregation?

Are there consistent opportunities given to people for meaningful connection with others in the body of Christ?

And even if we’re in a small church, do we have the big picture of the Kingdom of God?

I realize the average church in America is small and relatively few are mega-churches. But I also recognize this truth: God loves the Church in all her variety, forms, styles and sizes. So I suggest that we stop criticizing and casting stones at the Bride of Jesus—because big or small—she belongs to Him.

Nathan and Kurt Bubna
on top of Mt. Hood

Okay, let’s be honest, some of you read the title of this blog post and thought, “Whatever. Here he goes again trying to push me out of my nice, safe bubble.”

You’re comfortable. Content. Satisfied. The last thing you want to read about is adventure. You’re thinking, “No way! I’ll just stay in my PJs and enjoy my coffee today. Thank you very much.”

I understand. For many, adventure is synonymous with struggle, hardship, and pain. The word dials up images of someone attempting to climb Mt. Everest or trying to swim the English Channel. We might like to watch the documentaries or read about it in Call of the Wild, but we prefer to experience our adventures vicariously from the comfort of a Lazy Boy recliner.

For many, adventure is a four-letter word.

But what if God made you for more than a safe, routine, and boring life? What if you were created in his image to discover, to explore, and to live life on the edge? What if he designed the human race “to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations, and to boldly go where no one has gone before”? (Yes, I’m a Trekkie.)

I’ve climbed mountains, trekked the Himalayas, finished two marathons, sailed the Caribbean where pirates once roamed, and walked city streets from Hollywood to Hong Kong to Scotland. I’ve even parachuted out of a perfectly good plane at 12,000 feet (what a rush!). Perhaps, however, we need to look at adventure in a different light.

All of these exciting adventures of mine are treasured memories, but I’ve discovered that most of life’s adventures can be experienced in everyday life. You can know and experience adventure as you decide to be fully present and fully His wherever you are and whatever you do.

Parenting can be an adventure if you intentionally engage your children with a view to helping them become everything God wants them to become.

Marriage can be an adventure if you choose to be a student of your spouse no matter how long you’ve been married or how well you think you know each other.

Friendship can be an adventure if you resolve to sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron.

Going to work, getting coffee at Starbucks, shopping at Costco, or taking a walk in your neighborhood can be an adventure if you see every encounter as a divine appointment and opportunity to be like Jesus to the world around you.

Here’s what I’m suggesting: Attitude and perspective determine the measure of your adventure. You can aimlessly wander through life on cruise control or see every moment as a gift and live with God-inspired intentionality. That, my friends, is the key to living the adventure the Father has planned for you.

So tally-ho! Go for it! Adventure in the Kingdom is what you were made for. Why would you want to settle for anything less?